Let my morning be your birth control for today

Sometimes being a parent is the best feeling in the world. But today…..

Parenthood is being woken up at 5am by one child who wants to aggressively snuggle and another who wants to sit on your legs and make incredibly annoying grunting sounds expressing his displeasure at not being able to be exactly where the other child is sitting.

Parenthood is putting on the TV for said children so they leave you the F alone and then have both children come back yelling that it’s not what they wanted to watch.

Parenthood is getting up, finding something they both want to watch, and getting them something to eat so they’re quiet while you go into the basement to work, and then listening to them scream at each other about god knows what for a half hour.

Parenthood is coming back upstairs to find one child naked and the other looking like nothing happened and all’s well with the world.

Parenthood is collapsing on the couch and letting child #1 eat goldfish for breakfast while child #2 licks your face and meows while using your own finger to pick her nose.

I’m done with today, and it’s only 8am.

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