DIY instant oatmeal packets

So I know it’s summer, and it’s hot as all get out right now, but school is fast approaching (or has already arrived for some of you) and it’s always nice to have something fast and easy ready for breakfast. I’ve been doing this for a couple of years now, and it’s so quick and easy. I actually prefer it to the instant oatmeal packets you can buy at the store. “But Casey, it only takes like 5 minutes to cook oatmeal on the stove. Why go through the extra steps of making individually portioned packets?” Oh, hush. It may only take 5 minutes for oatmeal to cook, but you still have to assemble your ingredients (if you’re not putting anything in your oatmeal shame on you), and then you have to clean a pot.

I’m a fan of these things because they’re portable (all you need is a microwavable bowl or mug and a spoon), they’re quick, and they’re delicious. You can customize them to no end. They can have more or less sugar (whatever your preference is), and you can add in extra bits of whatever (flax, chia seeds, wheat germ, protein powder, etc) to make it even healthier if you’re so inclined.

I recommend setting up an assembly line to make things faster. This is something that kids can help with too! And if they help make it, they might actually eat it.

Instant Oatmeal Packets

  • 1/2 cup instant oats
  • 2 -4 tsp “healthy stuff” (chia seeds, flax seeds, etc)
  • 2 tsp dried milk (this is optional, but delicious)
  • 1 -3 tsp dried sweetener (brown sugar, granulated sugar, vanilla sugar, maple sugar, etc)
  • a pinch of salt
  • add-ins of choice (around 3 tbsp total is usually reasonable)

So what kinds of add-ins should you use? I’m a big fan of fruit and nut combinations, but I’ve also used chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, etc – just use a pinch, or it’s too overpowering) and coconut. If you use fruit, make sure it’s DRIED fruit of some kind. Make sure everything is chopped up into bite-sized pieces. Nobody wants to crunch down on a whole almond in their oatmeal (unless you do – you do you I guess).

My favorite combinations:

  • cranberry almond
  • chocolate walnut (chocolate chips)
  • cinnamon apple
  • coconut almond
  • caramel apple (butterscotch chips are the “caramel” here)
  • cinnamon raisin

Everything fits nicely in one of those snack-sized plastic bags. Or, if you’re opposed to plastic, you can make your own packets out of wax paper or parchment paper. Fold a piece of parchment in half, and then fold up the edges a couple of times to make a pocket (staple it to make sure it stays folded up). After you’ve filled the pocket, fold the top down a couple of times and secure it with another staple. Easy peasy.

To cook it, just add some water or milk (around 1/2 – 2/3 cup, but I don’t usually measure it) and microwave for 1-2 minutes. Delicious.

I work from home part-time, and you can too!

I’m a pharmacist (or at least that’s what I tell people when they ask). That’s my part-time day job. My OTHER job is a little weird. Ok, it’s a lot weird, and I get the strangest looks when I tell people about it. I teach children in China how to speak English. The most common initial response I get is, “WOW! You speak Chinese?!” No, I don’t. Not even a little. But that’s ok! Because I’m not teaching them Chinese, I’m teaching them English. I don’t speak baby either, and I’m doing a decent job of teaching my kids English, too (though sometimes it’s a little questionable). But does it work? You bet! Imagine how much better you’d have learned a foreign language if you had been in a full immersion language course from the time you were 4 years old!

I work for this company called VIPKID. It’s at the top of pretty much every list that ranks the best “work from home” jobs. I’m a contractor, meaning that I set my own hours, and parents hire me to teach their child a 25 minute lesson. If they like me, they book me again later. It took a LONG time for me to get a good number of bookings, though. I only taught the occasional class for several months before I was “discovered” by a few parents who passed along my name to other parents. Now I’m hired by someone to teach during almost every time slot I open up. VIPKID provides the lesson materials, and it’s up to me how I choose to teach the information to each child in the way that’s best for them as an individual. Kids range in age quite a bit. I’ve taught a 3 year old (it didn’t go well – never try to teach a foreign language to a toddler right before bedtime), up through a 12 year old. The kids get older as the difficulty increases. I teach the two lowest levels because I like working with younger children more. VIPKID also handles the payment side of things. Parents pay the company, and the company pays me.

And the best part is I can work as much or as little as I want. Right now, because it’s summer break for them too, I usually work for an hour or two in the morning and an hour or two at night. During the school year, I usually only teach in the morning (their evening), and in the evening on weekends (my Friday and Saturday nights are their Saturday and Sunday mornings). Sure, it means that I get up at 5:45 every day now, but now I don’t worry so much about losing the income from dropping down to part-time in my pharmacist job. With just a few hours each day, during the times when my kids are eating breakfast and watching cartoons or sleeping, I’ve been making an extra $800-1100/month. Not too shabby.

Do you have to be a teacher already? NO! The requirements to be considered for hire include:

  • a current resident of the US or Canada
  • any “formal” or “informal” teaching experience such as mentoring, tutoring, coaching, or alternative education (and yes, being a parent DOES count)
  • have a Bachelor’s degree in any field or at minimum an Associate’s degree in Early Childhood Education
  • have a working desktop or laptop with high-speed internet that can handle both video and audio

If you’re interested in checking it out for yourself, click here! Since VIPKID doesn’t actually train teachers individually (they provide training materials and give you access to some online seminars, and then you “audition” one-on-one when you think you’re ready), they pay teachers like me $100 for each person they refer who gets hired. This means that THEY WILL PAY ME TO TRAIN YOU! So if you think that sounds like a fun way to earn a little extra pocket money, click the link and check it out.

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Dishwasher detergent, part 3

If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that I made my own dishwasher tabs 4 months ago and have been using them ever since. Initially, I was very happy with them. They got everything reasonably clean (I’m not good about rinsing my dishes before they go in, so they missed the occasional bit of dried on gunk), they smelled nice, and they were dirt cheap. Forward to about a month ago, and I realized I needed to change something. Let me preface this by saying that we have hard water. Like, really hard water. Everything was still getting “clean,” in that the food was coming off them, but the hard water was starting to leave a film on my dishes that became more noticeable with every wash. That made me so, so sad. Sure, I could have gone back to the store bought stuff, but I don’t really do that.

So I decided to go back to the drawing board. I googled, I researched, and I experimented. I finally ended up with a recipe for dishwasher tabs that I’m really, really happy with. I think you’ll like it too! The downside? It’s no longer ok to let your kids lick them. So unfortunate, I know.

And so, without further ado, my new recipe:

New and Improved Dishwasher Tabs

Makes approx 5 dozen tabs (sure, you could scale this back, but I find it easier to make big batches of things less often)

  • 2 c. washing soda
  • 1 c. oxyboost oxygen bleach (no it’s not actually bleach, but it does pack some serious cleaning power)
  • 1 c. baking soda
  • 1 c. citric acid
  • 1 c. salt
  • 30 drops lavender essential oil
  • 30 drops tea tree oil
  • 2-4 tbsp water

The essential oils are optional, but they do appear to have some disinfectant properties (and they smell nice, too). It appears that you can add or replace one of the oils I’ve used with lemon essential oil and have good results as well, but I haven’t tried it myself.

Mix everything except the water in a large bowl, and slowly dribble in the water while stirring. Only put in 1 tbsp at a time (or use a spray bottle), and mix well to combine. You’re going for a wet sand consistency. You want it to JUST hold its shape when you squeeze it with your hands. When you have the right moisture level, fill your molds (egg cartons are perfect here), pack them tight, and let them harden for a day or two. Voila! Clean dishes.

Want to try it for yourself? It’s easy, and you totally should. Washing soda, baking soda and salt are all going to be cheaper at Walmart than you’ll ever find online, but these are the Amazon links for the oxyboost and citric acid I use (making a purchase using these links will earn me a small commission at no extra charge to you).

If you’re not into making stuff (what’s wrong with you?), head on over to my store and buy the finished product instead! You can even tell people you made it yourself – I won’t tell anybody.

Wine making 101

Wine making sounds intimidating. If you go to a store where they sell brewing and wine making equipment, it seems even more complicated than you originally thought. It makes you wonder: How did they make wine before all the fancy-pants equipment and ingredients became available? Easy. The trick is finding fruit that has NOT been treated with any chemicals or pesticides (easier said than done if you usually go to the grocery store for your produce). Fruits you’ve grown yourself or get from a friend’s yard are the best way to go. Commercially grown organic fruit might work, but I haven’t tried it myself. And you need something that has NOT been washed. Read on to find out why!

The absolute easiest way to make wine is:

  • Mash fruit
  • Add sugar (and water if needed)
  • Stir vigorously several times per day
  • When the bubbling slows, strain your liquid and put it in a carboy
  • Wait.
  • Wine!

Sounds simple, right? It is! Obviously things can go wrong, but things can go wrong making wine the “normal” way, and that costs an insane amount of money to get everything you “need.” I bought a 2 gallon plastic bucket, a 1 gallon glass jug (called a carboy), and a short length of tubing to siphon it into my wine bottles when it’s done. I spent under $10, and can make as much wine as I want. No extra ingredients to buy, no fancy chemicals needed.

Mash up your fruit in a clean, food-grade bucket. Get in there with your hands, and really squeeze. Grapes and cherries are what I’ve used so far, and squishing them in your hands is….strangely satisfying, a little slimy, and a lot of fun. You want to crush up every. single. piece. Anything left whole isn’t going to add anything to your wine. You can technically use any fruit that’s juicy (so no, you can’t make banana wine this way – I don’t know why you’d want to, but don’t). Apples, all kinds of berries, cherries, grapes, you name it. You can even combine a few different types of fruits to make a more interesting wine. I haven’t made apple wine myself, but I’d imagine you’d smash them up with a hammer or meat mallet or something. Just make sure you crush them up really well, and don’t lose any of the juice! In this picture, I’m squishing up cherries. The pits are kind of pointy, but it’s fun to make them all go POP. And a little messy. There was splatter.

Washing your fruit is a BIG no-no in this instance. Weird, I know, but we’re trying to grow some wild yeast here. Yeast lives on the outside of pretty much all fruits (and everything else, for that matter). Yeast needs liquid and carbs (sugar) to really thrive. And what does yeast produce when you keep it happy with a lot of sugar? Alcohol. It’s like magic. Feed the yeast, keep them happy, and they’ll make you some wine as a thank you present. Isn’t that nice of them?

After you’ve thoroughly mashed your fruit in a bucket, you may need to add some water. You don’t need much if your fruit was extra juicy, but if you’ve got something that’s a thicker consistency you’re going to want to thin it down a bit. Use distilled or filtered water if you can. Tap water contains an unknown (to you) amount of chlorine, and chlorine kills stuff. Good for keeping your water bacteria-free, bad for keeping your yeast happy.

Next, you’ll want to add in some sugar. Honey is an excellent choice, because it takes the yeast a little longer to eat. This means that your wine will have a longer time to develop its flavors. Regular granular sugar can also be used, and it is consumed really quickly by the yeast to get a good fermentation right away. Because honey is expensive, I usually use some of each. But how much sugar should you add? I have literally no idea. Wing it. I have a 2 gallon bucket, which I fill about 2/3 full with fruit and water. For my latest batch of cherry wine (currently in the bucket phase), I added maybe 1/2 cup of honey and… I don’t know…. like… 2.5-3 cups of granular sugar? Hard to say, because I kind of just kept going until I felt good about it.

The reason you can’t give an exact amount here is because it depends on too many factors. If you use a really sweet fruit (like very ripe concord grapes or strawberries), you don’t need a ton of sugar because it’s sweet to begin with. If you use something without much sugar in it (like my super sour cherries), then you’ll need more sugar. Don’t worry too much about adding too much or not enough sugar. You can always add more if it doesn’t seem like it’s doing much in a couple of days (which is what I wound up doing with this batch). Or, if you go a little sugar crazy and wind up with wine that’s way too sweet for your taste, add some vodka to it or something. I’m sure that’ll make it better (possibly not, but it couldn’t hurt, right?). What I’m trying to say here is that it’s fun to experiment. We’re not going for top quality wine here. If we wanted that, we’d spend a couple hundred dollars to get the fancy pants ingredients, special yeast, and weird chemicals that do I don’t even know what. This way is more fun.

After you have it all mixed together, you’re going to want to let it sit. I currently have my 2 gallon bucket sitting underneath an upturned water-bath canner (it’s basically just a giant pot). You want to keep the bugs out (this stuff is a fruit fly magnet), but you don’t want it airtight because that yeast is going to be releasing a LOT of gas in the early stages and it’ll blow the lid off anything you put on it. Plastic wrap with holes punched in it covered with a thin towel might work. I’ve used a plate to cover the bucket before, and that worked pretty well too.This picture is last year’s grape wine after the second day in the bucket. You’ll note that there are a few bubbles, and some of the fruit is bobbing toward the surface.

For the first few days, you’re going to want to stir this mixture pretty vigorously. We want the yeast to take over before mold has a chance to get a foothold. Stir it several times per day at first. In the beginning, the fruit usually sinks to the bottom and you’ve got juice at the top. After a few days, you’ll notice that your fruit is floating and looks weird. It starts floating because yeast is filling the fruit with gas. That’s a good thing. It’ll also start to smell a little boozy. That’s a very good thing. It’s going to look disgusting, though. In a good way. I really wouldn’t worry about it. This picture is of my current batch of cherry wine (I know, I know, I’m confusing you by showing pictures of different fruits. Just go with it).

This is on day…. 4? 5? I don’t really remember. I added more sugar after day 3 because it wasn’t doing anything. It took off pretty quickly after that. You’ll notice at this stage that there are a TON of bubbles just under the surface. Vigorous stirring will make those bubbles go a little crazy. It’s like you’re stirring a weird bucket of soda or something.

This is so exciting! As it keeps going, it’ll get cloudy. This is the yeast. That’s also a good thing. Once the bubbling slows down (meaning it doesn’t look like this every time you stir it), you can move it over to a carboy. Strain the fruit out, and get it into the bottle using a funnel or something. There is actual equipment that makes it easy, but I don’t like to do things the easy way. A fine mesh colander will get the fruit out of the way, and then you can use a short length of tubing (you really will want that for bottling at the end, so you might as well get it now) to get it from your bowl or whatever into your carboy. I keep using that word. Carboy. If you’re not familiar, it’s like what they sell apple cider in around the holidays. Just a big glass bottle. A 1 gallon bottle is perfect for our purposes (I have more than a gallon in my current bucket, but the fruit will take away a lot of volume when it’s strained out). You can buy them online or at a local brewing store. (Though if you buy one by clicking this link, I’ll get a small commission and you can help support my weird hobbies).

Once you move the mixture over to the carboy, the yeast will still be working at turning the sugar into alcohol. They’ll still be releasing gas, too. This means that you can’t put a lid or stopper on the bottle. They sell these things that are like one-way valves that fit in a stopper for a carboy, but that means buying something (yes, they’re inexpensive, but still). Instead, I use a balloon. Just pop your balloon on top of the jug and watch your yeast blow it up. It’s fun! And it gives the yeast a real purpose. Makes them work a little harder, because they can see results. That last part probably wasn’t true.

Again, this is last year’s batch of grape wine. You see how it’s super cloudy? That means it’s nice and yeasty, which means that it’s going to be good and boozy. But in a classy, winey way.

Put your soon-to-be-wine in a cool, dark spot of the house. A sunny window upstairs is a bad spot. We’re cultivating a fungus here, not growing a plant (sounds gross when you think of it that way, doesn’t it? Don’t even worry about it). Check on it periodically. Let the air out of the balloon. When it stops blowing up the balloon and the liquid is clear (which will likely take about a month, give or take), that means that your yeast is all dead. Congratulations! The yeast has created so much alcohol that it’s killed them all. What a way to go, right?

Now you can siphon off the finished wine into bottles. Try not to jiggle it too much (there will be a thick layer of dead yeast at the bottom – if you can’t stand the gross get out of the … wine… cellar? I don’t even know). If you need to bring it to another room so as to not make a mess while bottling it, I’d probably let it sit for a day or two on the counter to let the sediment settle down again. Use a short length of plastic tubing to suck it out of the carboy and empty it into a bottle (literally, suck it up like a straw, and let gravity pull it into the bottles). Just don’t let the end of the tube get too close to the muck at the bottom. You don’t want that in your wine. They make these neat little clips to stop the flow of liquid through your tubing so you don’t get wine all over everything when switching the hose to another bottle, but the children lost mine the same day I got it, so I only lost about a half a bottle of wine on the floor when I did this last time. Cork it if you want, but I didn’t want to bother with a big cork thing because it seemed too complicated. I use bottle caps like what you’d put on a beer bottle. It’s cheaper and easier than buying corks and whatever you call that cork-squeezing-and-inserting-into-the-bottle-doohicky. This means that there will be no air exchange through the cork, meaning that the flavor won’t change over time. So it won’t get better with age, but it won’t get worse either. It’s wine. Drink it. You’re welcome.

 

DIY vanilla extract

Looking for something that’s easy to make, and incredibly useful? Look no further! Vanilla extract is right up there at the top of the list of things I’ll never buy again. REAL vanilla extract is incredibly flavorful. So much better than the cheap artificial stuff I was buying before. Apparently, if you want to get all technical about it, artificial vanilla is made using only artificial vanillin derived from wood pulp (gross), where as real vanilla extract contains several hundred additional flavor compounds that give it a complex, deep flavor. It smells good, too – I’d wear it as perfume, but it would make me smell like a cupcake and I don’t want that (while I do want to smell like a cupcake, I don’t want to be craving cupcakes all day). And, fun bonus, it makes a great gift. But no, I can’t make it for you. Apparently that’s illegal unless I want to get a Food Processor license and prepare it in a commercial kitchen (no thank you).

So how, exactly, do you make vanilla extract? It’s likely the easiest thing I’ll ever tell you how to make. Put vanilla beans in vodka and let it sit for at least a month. THAT’S. IT.

There are 2 kinds of vanilla beans (well, for our purposes anyway). Grade A beans are the kind that you see fancy-pants chefs using. You can slice them down the middle and use the back of a knife to scoop out the innards. They’re flavorful, moist, supple, and expensive as all get out. And you do NOT use them for vanilla extract. That would be like putting grapes in trail mix. Sure, you COULD do it, but it’s weird, a waste of grapes, and that’s what raisins are for.

Grade B beans are what we’re looking for when making vanilla extract. They’re much drier, difficult to bend, highly concentrated, and next to impossible to cut down the middle like you would a Grade A bean (at least not without losing a finger). The most common varieties are Madagascar, Bourbon and Tahitian beans. I’ve heard that Tahitian beans are slightly sweeter and a little more floral, but I haven’t noticed a big difference (I buy whatever’s cheapest on Amazon at the time). Speaking of which, the vanilla market is extremely volatile and prices can vary dramatically. Keep an eye out for a good deal.

The second ingredient required is alcohol. We’re looking for something with no flavor to it, because we ONLY want to taste the amazingness that is pure, concentrated vanilla. It’s a thing of beauty. Seriously. This means we want CHEAP vodka. I mean that. You want the cheapest vodka you can find. Cheap vodka is disgusting, because it’s basically just alcohol. As the liquor store guy said when I bought it, “That’ll rot your insides.” Perfect. We are going for a high percentage of flavorless alcohol.

Once you have your ingredients, put them together. Beans should be cut into approximately 1″ long pieces. No need to slice them down the middle. It’s pointless for our purposes, and you WILL cut yourself. How many beans should you use? This is the only bit that requires a bit of precision. Legally, you’re required to use about an ounce of beans for every 8 ounces of alcohol for it to be considered actual vanilla extract. I can’t give an exact number of beans to achieve that weight, because they can vary quite a bit in length. I use a kitchen scale, and aim for 15 grams of beans (1/2 ounce) to put in the ADORABLE 4 ounce bottles I have. Can you use less than that? Sure. But then it’s not vanilla extract, it’s just vanilla flavored vodka. Can you use more? I guess, but vanilla beans aren’t the cheapest thing in the world and the alcohol can only soak up so much vanilla. You can also just add a ton of beans to a full bottle of vodka.

Once everything is together, let it sit for a month. It should be shaken periodically (daily is recommended, but I have the worst memory in the world so it winds up being closer to once a week or so). I leave the beans in the bottle until it’s all gone, and shake before I use it each time. When the extract is gone, pop the used up vanilla beans in a small container of sugar and let THAT sit for a while. Again, shake it periodically. It makes a fantastic vanilla sugar that’s just delightful for rolling cookies in, and for sweetening drinks. After that, the beans are pretty useless and can be thrown away.

How easy is that? No excuses now. And yes, I know it’s a little pricey, but if you combine it with a couple of cookie cutters or some cute cupcake liners it would make an awesome Christmas present. Just sayin’. Go try it!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links – if you purchase the products shown using my links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.

It’s cherry time!

I’m all about growing, making, and preserving food. We have a sour cherry tree out back, and it’s harvest time! And that means it’s time for all things jam, jelly and wine. I’ve made cherry jelly for the past several years, but it always seems a little wasteful to just squeeze out the juice and throw the rest of the cherry away. This time I decided to try my hand at making jam instead. What’s the difference? Jam uses the whole fruit, and jelly just uses just the juice.

How pretty is that?! I’ve been picking some each day as they get ripe, but I think this was the last batch I’m going to get. I had to stand on a ladder and pick them with tongs, because I can’t reach the ripe ones anymore 😆 (that’s dedication…and a little crazy).

Saturday was cherry jam day. Most people buy boxes of pectin to turn fruit into a gel. I used to be most people. But then I got to thinking, “Why are you buying pectin? There’s pectin already in the fruit!” Fair point, Casey. Fair point. Alright, let’s skip the pectin. No more pectin. If I wanted to buy something I can make myself I’d just buy the finished jam, right?

As it turns out, all fruit has pectin, but some kinds have more than others. Pectin works by forming a sort of “pectin network” – in order for the pectin to stick to itself, you have to get the water out of the way. Sugar is one way of doing that (it pulls the water out – put some sugar on a cut up strawberry and walk away for an hour if you don’t believe me), and heat is another way to remove water by evaporation. If you get it to the perfect temperature (220 F), it makes a jam or jelly with the “standard” grocery store consistency. A little lower temp and you get a thinner, easier to spread jam (perfect for stirring into yogurt or putting on ice cream). A little higher temp and you get jello (not literally, but you get the idea). And if you don’t have a good thermometer (or just want to double check that it’s set), just drop some on a frozen plate and stick your finger in it when it’s cool. It’s all about how much water you get out of the way, which dictates how strong the pectin network becomes.

So what if you don’t want to add a ton of sugar? Basically, you just have to boil the fruit for longer to evaporate the water, which gives you a more concentrated sugar solution. Most recipes without added pectin call for 1/2 – 1 cup of sugar for every pound of fruit you’re using. There’s no need to use the massive amounts of sugar (usually equal amounts of fruit and sugar) found in the recipes inside the pectin box. Powdered and liquid pectin are designed for fast jam formation (people are impatient). Because of that, it relies primarily on sugar, rather than boiling, to reduce the water concentration around the pectin molecules.

One additional note here. Pectin likes acid. As a way to ensure that you don’t have any problems with your jam or jelly setting, I like to add some lemon juice to the pot. You usually don’t need a ton (and if you want to get technical about it, it’s only actually needed for fruits that aren’t acidic – if it could be considered “tart” then you likely don’t need it). I usually add the equivalent of 1/2 – 1 lemon’s worth of juice to a batch of whatever I’m making. It won’t be sour because of all the sugar, and it doesn’t contribute anything to the flavor profile.

 

So basicaly, fruit + sugar (and maybe a little lemon juice), boil it until you get jam. I find it way easier than using boxed pectin. With the stuff in the box, you need to be very exact with your measurements, put the sugar in at just the right moment, and watch the clock closely. Also, I happen to think that the longer cook time results in a more flavorful jam (and you’re able to control the consistency much more easily by boiling for a longer or shorter period of time).

“But wait, didn’t you say that different fruits have different amounts of pectin? Do you need to do something else to get low-pectin fruit to gel?” I’m glad you asked! Yes, you DO need to add something else! No, not boxed pectin. We don’t do that anymore. But you CAN add a small amount of high-pectin fruit as a sort of “pectin supplement.” Check out this list! (You guys, seriously, I’m really into jam right now. You don’t even know how much fruit/pectin/canning research I’ve done this season.)

Low pectin fruits: apricots, blueberries, sweet cherries, figs, table grapes, kiwis, nectarines, guavas, peaches, pears, pineapples, raspberries, rhubarb, strawberries, and ALL fruits that are very ripe – these will all need some help to become jammy.

High pectin fruits: apples, sour cherries, crab apples, blackberries, elderberries, gooseberries, cranberries, currants, wine and concord grapes, grapefruits, lemons, limes, melons, oranges, plums and pomegranates

In the picture above, I’m making a rhubarb jam. Since rhubarb is very low in pectin (but I didn’t want to add a different fruit that would change the flavor), I added lemon. FUN FACT: lemon juice primarily add acidity (never a bad idea when you’re making jam), but the pith and the seeds are where the majority of the pectin resides in your average citrus fruit. I have the seeds tied up in a little sack of cheesecloth so I could extract the pectin while cooking without losing them in the jam. I removed the lemons from the jam once it jelled.

Since all fruit loses pectin as it ripens, it’s never a bad idea to include some fruit that’s just shy of being fully ripe. You can go up to 1/4 of the batch being under-ripe without it affecting the flavor.

So get out there! Make some jam!

But make sure you get all the cherry pits out before canning it, ok?

Looking for the silver lining

It’s been a shit week. Between the rice episode (which will go down in history as “Rice-ageddon, the Rice-oning”), the destruction of a loaf of bread by crumbing the entire house (an homage to Hansel and Gretel), Emmett throwing his glasses out the car window where they were promptly run over by multiple cars, and having the police bring the children back home at 7am this morning because they got through 6 different locks designed to keep them in….. yeah, not great. I think they might know all the swear words now.

It’s easy to get lost in the bad. Sure, I’ve been told to expect a visit from CPS, but the kids are safe and unharmed. They had an adventure that will be funny someday. Not today, because today I want to lock them both in their rooms forever and feed them through a slot in their door. But someday it’ll be a good story.

It’ll be funny later that I’m still finding rice everywhere even though I vacuumed it up days ago. It’ll be funny later that Emmett’s lenses are now part of the road. It’ll be funny later that I found a destroyed shell of a loaf of bread in my car.

Today, everything is the worst. And I’m ok with that. Because if you dwell on the bad, you forget about the good.

This week, I cut my hair. As in I myself cut my hair. Because why not, right? It wasn’t the worst decision I’ve ever made, but there’s room for improvement next time (because now that I know I can, why would I pay someone else to do it? That’s not how I roll).

This week, we put together a new desk from IKEA, which is so much better than our old computer desk. Lots of room to keep my teaching stuff organized, and, unlike the old desk, it doesn’t wobble when you touch it.

This week, we installed a new light fixture above the kitchen table. It’s beautiful.

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This week we bought a new bed, which looks AWESOME (still waiting on delivery).

This morning, I got a phone call that the eye doctor had an appointment cancel today, and they’re fitting us in early for a consultation with the surgeon for Emmett (he has a wonky eye that will likely need surgical correction – our initial appointment wasn’t until November, because they’re booked solid).

This week sucked, but it was also awesome. I need to remember the good parts instead of the bad.

Let my morning be your birth control for today

Sometimes being a parent is the best feeling in the world. But today…..

Parenthood is being woken up at 5am by one child who wants to aggressively snuggle and another who wants to sit on your legs and make incredibly annoying grunting sounds expressing his displeasure at not being able to be exactly where the other child is sitting.

Parenthood is putting on the TV for said children so they leave you the F alone and then have both children come back yelling that it’s not what they wanted to watch.

Parenthood is getting up, finding something they both want to watch, and getting them something to eat so they’re quiet while you go into the basement to work, and then listening to them scream at each other about god knows what for a half hour.

Parenthood is coming back upstairs to find one child naked and the other looking like nothing happened and all’s well with the world.

Parenthood is collapsing on the couch and letting child #1 eat goldfish for breakfast while child #2 licks your face and meows while using your own finger to pick her nose.

I’m done with today, and it’s only 8am.

This is what you get when I listen to public radio (so sorry)

So I just want preface this by saying I’m not complaining about my own life. I’m not saying any of this about any specific person. If you’re a man or a very happy wife, don’t get defensive. Don’t argue. Just read it, internalize it, mull it over, and really think about it before reacting. I know this is kind of a hot-button issue for a lot of people. Also, I feel like I’ve written some kind of term paper for a women’s studies class. Sorry about that. My sources are at the bottom if you care to look into it further.

I listened to a show on Wisconsin Public Radio several months ago that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. It was about how children learn to devalue women from their parents. I’ve read many of the studies (ok, more the highlights… there are few things I hate reading more than actual “study” literature) that were referenced in the episode, and the whole thing just doesn’t sit well with me.

And then, a few months ago I was seeing a therapist because I was feeling depressed, overwhelmed, dissatisfied and underappreciated. (spoiler alert: you have to make your own happiness – cue the recent changes to my work schedule, the second job, the blog, the side business, and a resurgence of my latent homesteader tendencies). Long story short, my therapist was a big proponent of “Every woman I see is unhappy with their husband’s contribution to the household, but you can’t change him, so you need to either lower your standards or just accept and make peace with the fact that you’re going to do it yourself.” That also didn’t sit well with me. At all.

Did you know that statistically, even when moms work full time outside the home they still do 65% of the household work as well? And according to a multitude of studies, when you ask men and women if their household duties are fairly split, and then actually account for which chores each person does, both men and women think that men only doing 30-35% of the work at home is “fair.” Of course, I don’t have to tell the women reading this, but men think it’s fair because they think it’s actually split 50/50, while women think it’s fair because “I’m just glad he helps at all.” How is this still normal? A big part of the problem is that a lot of what women do is invisible. We plan childcare, plan meals, make appointments, call for repairs, fill out paperwork for school, meet with teachers, pack lunches, etc etc etc. That’s on top of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, childcare, and all the other things that traditionally fall to women. Don’t get all defensive here, guys. We know you help. You might even think you do half of the household chores. Heck, maybe you actually do. That’s awesome! But social science research shows that you don’t (not you specifically, but most of you).

So how does this affect kids? What do they think when they see mom working and dad relaxing? Mom gets home from work and makes dinner, does the dishes, does a load of laundry, and cleans the living room. Dad gets home from work and turns on the TV or sits on his phone. Obviously I’m generalizing here. No, this is not a rant about my own family life. There are days when I do the same thing. This is a societal issue.

I know it’ll sound like I’m making something out of nothing or overreacting (typical woman, right?), but this unequal distribution of labor makes children view women as subservient to men, which means they’re undervalued as people. Hear me out here. No, this doesn’t mean that children don’t value their mothers. Obviously. But when dad’s comfort is put above mom’s (which is clearly the case when mom is still working after a full day of work and dad is relaxing), then how else can a child interpret it than to assume that dad’s comfort is more important than mom’s, therefore dad is more important than mom. When this happens, men aren’t even usually aware of it. It’s probably happening more often than either of you actually realize. A dentist appointment is clashing with your vacation – who calls the dentist to reschedule? Most of the time, dad doesn’t even know there was a conflict because he relies on mom to take care of it. Did you know that, on average, women with young children enjoy half as much leisure time on weekends than their husbands? When women talk to men about this problem, men often get defensive and are quick to point out that they’re doing better than their own fathers, so what’s the problem? Here’s the problem. Women compare men to themselves, and men compare themselves to their fathers. We are using completely different benchmarks for what is “fair” and “normal.”

So how do you avoid falling into the trap where mom does everything and dad does (comparatively) very little around the home? For many families it’s a problem that gets worse over time – the more you do, the more is expected of you. For parents, it frequently starts with the birth of their first child. One of the only biological differences that’s been actually proven between the genders with regard to parenting “instincts” is that while men and women are equally responsive to the pain cries of infants, women are biologically more responsive to fussiness cries than men are. This seemingly small difference snowballs over time into women being the first (and therefore the primary) parent to respond to any need of a child that’s not perceived as “urgent” by the father. Which means, over time, that most things fall to mom. Even in this supposed age of equality, where women can “have it all,” mothers remain almost solely in charge of the endless managerial care that comes with raising children: securing babysitters, filling out school forms, sorting through clothes that no longer fit. We need to stop confusing cultural habits with nature – it’s holding us back. It’s not a mom’s natural instinct to sign permission slips for school. It’s learned behavior for both parents that mom will take care of it. This has a long-term impact on kids and how they view women, both at home and in society as a whole. Don’t get me wrong – men have their own traditional household chores as well: household repairs, oil changes, lawn mowing. But the traditional “manly” chores need to be done weekly, monthly, yearly – not daily. Women are placed in charge of the ongoing, never ending work of the home. Millennial men tend to have loftier goals of equality in their home lives, but statistically they just aren’t sticking to those ideals once they have children.

Most women (again, every family is different, but we’re talking about the statistical “norm” here) will report that while they’re cleaning, folding laundry, washing dishes, he’s just sitting there. We know he’s not doing it on purpose. He has no awareness of what’s happening around him. We might ask him about it and he gets defensive. What are kids supposed to think when their dad is playing on his phone while mom scrambles to put everyone’s shoes and coats on? It’s not hard to predict which parent’s person-hood those children will conclude is more valuable. Current research actually shows that its men’s attitudes about marital roles, not women’s, which are ultimately internalized by both their daughters and their sons. This finding is a testament to kids’ ability to identify implicit power, to identify whose beliefs are more important, and therefore worth adopting as their own. When power issues are raised between couples, studies have shown time and time again that they’re most often framed not in terms of how husbands need to change, but rather how wives do (“You didn’t ask me for help” “I can’t read your mind” “You should be more assertive”). This is the domestic equivalent of “She should have dressed more modestly.”

We need to, as a society, be more aware that male dominance is still our cultural norm. Our culture’s devaluation of “women’s work” has left men with little incentive to shift into less-traditional roles at home, even as women have become more successful outside of the home. The only way to overcome it is to acknowledge and examine male privilege in the household. Privilege is invisible to those who have it, which is what makes it so difficult to change. So I’m asking you to all make an effort. Look at your spouse. Both of you. What are you doing? What are they doing? Chances are, if you’re a man, you need to make a conscious effort to increase your participation in the more laborious and chore-like aspects of family life. Men can pack backpacks and suitcases, they can find backup babysitters, they can restock groceries, plan meals, purchase birthday presents, and schedule doctors appointments. Don’t get defensive if she’s mad that you’re not helping. If your response is “If you needed help you should have just asked!” then you need to check yourself. If she has to ASK you to do it, it means that YOU EXPECTED HER TO DO IT. That’s the problem.

 

 

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122414564008
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12189
https://www.bls.gov/tus/tables/a6_1115.htm
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1005574724760
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4568757/
http://www.springerpub.com/couples-gender-and-power.html
https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/abs/10.1146/annurev-soc-070308-115920
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/11/04/raising-kids-and-running-a-household-how-working-parents-share-the-load/
https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/230545?journalCode=ajs
http://www.kathleengerson.com/books/the-unfinished-revolution/

Never tell your kids you forgot your wallet

My 3 year old has the memory of an elephant (assuming said elephant has a very selective memory).

Today, being the tired, cold-addled, multitasking mother I am, I forgot to put my wallet in my purse when I left the house. We went grocery shopping, at which point I realized I had no money. They had to suspend the transaction so I could go home for my wallet. Not great, but not the end of the world. Except now Madeline won’t stop reminding me with what I can only interpret as a 3-year-old’s version of condescension. Imagine everything that follows is being said with one hand on her hip, and the other being waved at me in an “I can’t believe this is happening” fashion.

“Mom, you didn’t bring your money. The store needs the money for the groceries.”

“Yeah, I know, I forgot, but it’s fine. We have the groceries now”

“But you can’t forget the money, Mom. You can’t.”

“Yeah, but I did, and it’s fine.”

“Mom, you gotta amember the money for the store so you can give ’em the money.”

*sigh* “Yes, I know. I won’t forget next time. You can remind me, ok?”

……an hour later…..

“Mom, you can’t be forgetting the money all the time.”