The new normal

It’s been almost a month since the world basically shut down, and it’s showing no signs of starting again anytime soon. I’ve been trying to keep busy as usual, but it’s been hard to do all that needs to be done. Through all this, I’ve learned that I’m better at teaching other people’s kids than my own. Either that, or I’m only good at teaching in 25 minute blocks. Whichever way you want to put it, these kids need to get back to school. I’ve been trying to use a schedule to keep us on track each day, but, damn, I’m tired. “Recess” tends to go on longer than it should, but that’s how I keep my sanity so it’s fine.

So what else has been going on? Let’s try to keep this brief.

A rabbit killed my apple tree. I’m salty toward wildlife now.

All the bark is gone around the whole tree. My tree guy said that it’ll likely get leaves, and then promptly die.

Aaron heard scuttling inside the piano, and we discovered that our mouse problem is back. Upon further inspection, mice have been inside the piano, behind the piano, and behind and under both couches. We’ve hired a new exterminator, and if he decides to show up today (it was supposed to happen yesterday, but they were a no-show) we can hopefully actually get the mice out of our house this time. I’m so, so sick of mice. Also, food is now banned from the couch. I don’t know how an entire cinnamon roll finds its way under the couch, but the mice are very pleased about it.

Madeline carved a picture into the kitchen table with a fork in the 10 seconds it took for me to bring dinner from the stove to the table. I’m salty toward my child now.

She’s banned from her tablet and from desserts for the next week. Her only regret is that she didn’t finish her picture (her words).

There’s been so much arguing and fighting between these children, it’s ridiculous. Madeline squeezed an orange on top of Emmett’s head because he looked at her wrong. Emmett keeps shouting “Stop! You’re crushing me!” every time she sits too close to him on the couch. Yesterday they were digging a hole in the backyard and Madeline “accidentally” threw a big clod of dirt in his face. Emmett is currently touching something that belongs to Madeline (just to bother her), and she can’t handle it. Emmett is shouting “Stop following me!” because she won’t stop death-glaring a him. I’m done with them.

There’s been lots of art work. To minimize the number of pictures that Madeline insists must be hung on the wall, they’ve been drawing on a chalkboard instead of paper. It’s better this way.

Emmett’s picture is on the right (“It’s a boy, Mom!”) and Madeline’s picture is on the left (“It’s you, with me as a baby in your tummy.!”). I asked what the “xH” is all about, and neither of them claim to be able to see it.

I’ve been stocking up for a craft fair that’s SUPPOSEDLY still taking place at the end of May. So hopefully that actually happens, or else get ready for a massive sale in the store!

I’m going to cut Emmett’s hair today. I’ve been saying it for weeks, but it’s happening today. Pray for me.

And, lastly, I’ve been making a metric shit-ton (that’s the technical term for it) of face masks. Please, wear a mask in public. I want to go wander the crafting aisles of Joann, and I can’t do that until this mess is over. Stay home as much as you can, and wear a mask if you have to go out. Family is free, but I am charging $5 per mask for non-family ($10 if you want a specific fabric I need to order). Kids sizes are available. Shoot me an email at if you want one (or ten) of your own.

And with that, I’m out. I need to break up the fisticuffs that’s brewing on the other side of the room.

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