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Behold, all ye readers, a masterpiece of epic proportions. We have been flummoxed by this behemoth for nigh on 2 years, but it is finished! And, once completed, it was immediately fortified with multiple laminations of the strongest adhesive. Set your eyes upon this paragon of puzzle perfection.

“But Dad, that wouldn’t fit in our yard!”

“It’s not going in our yard, Russ. It’s going in our living room.”

Why do we (I’m using the royal “we” here) keep putting things off that NEED to get done? I now have a broken toilet, a sopping wet beanbag chair, a wet carpet, and a toy sink which is almost certainly filled with water for the 100th time, all because I haven’t taken the 5 minutes it’ll take to install a lock on my bedroom door. I can’t even be mad at this point, because this is all me. As the famous saying goes, “Soak the carpet, shame on you. Break the toilet, shame on me.” At least I think that’s how that goes. I’ll do it tomorrow.*

*this is not a promise or statement of fact, but rather a noble aspiration which I strive, every day, to achieve

I’m not one for introductions, so let me start this off by pretending I started this a while ago and we’re all good friends now.

My house is filled with the sounds of a little girl’s screams. She’s screaming because she pushed her brother and he pushed her back. I imagine that this is how the tortured inmates in North Korean prisons feel. It’s like my brain is moments away from melting out of my ears.

“Cherish these times, for they’ll be gone in a flash. Children grow up so fast.”