Dishwasher detergent, part 1

“What have you done?!”

“I really wouldn’t worry about it”

Dishwasher tabs are kind of fun to make, and they smell delightful. Two dozen made in about 10 minutes. Now I just have to hope they pop out of the “molds” without crumbling. I hope to be able to test them out in the next couple of days.

In non-DIY news, Madeline tried to eat the piano. It’s a miracle she doesn’t have lead poisoning [yet].

Say hi, Emmett!

My little man is 5 years old. He loves Beauty and the Beast, Moana, Mickey Mouse, goldfish crackers and hotdogs. He is also still wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, because apparently Christmas isn’t a time of year, but rather a state of mind. He likes to be my helper (“I’m helpful, Mom!”), and he spends more time with his books than he does with his toys. And I keep waking up way too early to find him staring at me, which is super creepy.

Emmett also has Down syndrome, which means it takes him a little longer to learn than a typical child. He’s determined, though. I’m teaching him to read, and he asks to “play the flashing game” (flash cards) multiple times per day.

He’s also a big fan of pushing his sister, because that makes her scream like he just ripped her arm off. So that’s fun.

Say hi, Madeline!

My little girl was a bald, jowly potato 3 years ago, but now she’s a curly-haired sparkle princess. She’s hilarious, overly dramatic, Minnie Mouse obsessed, fashion forward, and loves Target as much as I do.

So you know how kids tend to say whatever pops into their head, with no sense of propriety or sensitivity? Well it’s almost more funny when they behave “appropriately.” We were at Walmart today picking up a couple things, and a woman who looked older than God stopped us to complement Madeline’s pigtails. Maddie thanked her, the woman tapped her nose, and Madeline laughed. As the woman walked away, Madeline had this goofy grin on her face. Once the woman was on the other side of the aisle, Madeline turned to me, still smiling, and stage whispered through her teeth, “that lady’s really old.”

Milestones

My little man dressed himself this morning! I handed him the clothes so they weren’t backwards, but the rest was all him.*

The best part was when he had everything on and yelled “I did it, Mom! Look at me!”

You can see in this picture, taken about 2 minutes after his joyous proclamation, that the giddiness brought on by his newfound independence didn’t last. Now he’s all “No, no school. All done.”

*I also put on his socks for him, because socks were created by the devil to frustrate my child

Our magnum opus is complete

Behold, all ye readers, a masterpiece of epic proportions. We have been flummoxed by this behemoth for nigh on 2 years, but it is finished! And, once completed, it was immediately fortified with multiple laminations of the strongest adhesive. Set your eyes upon this paragon of puzzle perfection.

“But Dad, that wouldn’t fit in our yard!”

“It’s not going in our yard, Russ. It’s going in our living room.”

Whyyyyy

Why do we (I’m using the royal “we” here) keep putting things off that NEED to get done? I now have a broken toilet, a sopping wet beanbag chair, a wet carpet, and a toy sink which is almost certainly filled with water for the 100th time, all because I haven’t taken the 5 minutes it’ll take to install a lock on my bedroom door. I can’t even be mad at this point, because this is all me. As the famous saying goes, “Soak the carpet, shame on you. Break the toilet, shame on me.” At least I think that’s how that goes. I’ll do it tomorrow.*

*this is not a promise or statement of fact, but rather a noble aspiration which I strive, every day, to achieve

The beginning of everything

I’m not one for introductions, so let me start this off by pretending I started this a while ago and we’re all good friends now.

My house is filled with the sounds of a little girl’s screams. She’s screaming because she pushed her brother and he pushed her back. I imagine that this is how the tortured inmates in North Korean prisons feel. It’s like my brain is moments away from melting out of my ears.

“Cherish these times, for they’ll be gone in a flash. Children grow up so fast.”